And I feel like a piece of shit because there's nothing wrong in my life but I'm useless anyway. I've always been good at school, sport, I helped at home taking care of the animals (we live in countryside)... now my grades dropped, I can't do judo because of the covid but I could train at home and I'm not doing it. I feel like I can't do anything and I want to cry but I can't tell my parents, so I just tell them lies to make them think everything's ok but I can't do it for a long period of time I'm not suicidal, at least not anymore, even if I'm sure I couldn't ever do it. I would feel bad for my friends and family. (Sorry for the bad english, it's not my first language)