Trust me I thought that I was keeping a level head about it until my mum told me how it's made me become so negative and paranoid about Jan, I've spent so much time figuring Jan out that I am almost becomming her. The only way to retaliate was by being assertive and dominant (which drove her crazy and wasn't necessarily a bad thing) and being snide and bitchy which she used to turn around and make me the bad guy because she "doesn't realize what she says I take the wrong way" but I don't want to be like her in any case, so I stopped.

Thank you, I think I handed everyone pitchforks after writing this. My husband hasn't lied to me like this in a long time and it has been in the last month that he has been buggering off most of his days off, I felt like he deserved it because I am not comfortable with finding a babysitter in this town and I would literally rather die than have Jan or his hivemind sisters babysit my babies, I miss camping, and we do other stuff that I love, but the weather is way too cold for camping with babies. I felt like he shouldn't miss out because we can't come, I was just so offended that his mum's feelings about it mattered so much when he didn't even look at how I feel.

If I put his time off into what he does it would probably be 40% me and the kids (we count as one because he never actively plays with his daughter without me initiating it), 20% his chores, 25% visiting his friends, 10% visiting his mum (I literally make him go to see her, if I didn't he never would) and 5% us alone, late nights when kids are napping.

That feels about average to me, he is a good dad, and usually a great husband but his mum has been a problem for a long time. It's hard to explain the situation without getting too in depth but he works for 4 days, 12 hours each day (13.5 with travel) and has 4 days off, but before when he worked 5 days a week from 8-2 he was her errand bitch. I told him to cut it out and that he needed to spend more time being my husband not her husband and he did, he stopped, she held it against us saying we don't help her anymore.

I think I will definitely ask him where he thinks his percentages should be, it's pretty obvious that he is his number 1 priority and mine is the kids.

It's important to note that we live in a very small town with no therapy nearby but if we had the resources I would be more than happy to see someone.

Once again this is all over the place, early mornings with the baby make for clouded minds.