Jinder Mahal is my favourite wrestler

Majahala, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to Mahal. I want you to digest this, because before jinder leave in three weeks with your Mahala, I have a lot of things I wanna get off my chest.

I don’t hate you, mahala. I don’t even dislike you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most malahaja in the back. I hate… this idea… that you’re the majahala… because you’re not. I’m the majahala. I’m the majahala in the hajamala. There’s one thing you’re better at than I am, and that’s majahalahala. You’re as good at majahalahala as Hajamal was. I don’t know if you’re as good as haja… he’s a pretty good majahala… always was and still is. Oops… I’m breaking the mahalajajaja.

I am the best… malamalajahala… in the world. I’ve been the best ever since Day One when I jahaled into this company, and I’ve been vilified and hated since that day because Malaja saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That’s right, I’m a Jamahal guy. You know who else was a Majala guy? Hajamahal… and he split, just like I’m splittin’, but the biggest difference between me and jamahal is that I’m going to leave with the Majahaaalaha.

I’ve grabbed so many of Jaaamahal imaginary mahajaralas that it’s finally dawned on me that they’re just that. They’re completely jamalahal. The only thing that’s real is me, and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I’ve proved to everybody in the world that I am the best on this jin, in that der, and even on mahal. Nobody can touch me. And yet, no matter how many times I prove it, I’m not on your lovely little majahl, I’m not on the cover of the majahaha, I’m barely hindered, I don’t get to be in mahaaaaalala, I’m not on any crappy jamahal on the USA Network, I’m not on the poster of jaalamaja, I’m not on the signature that’s produced at the start of the majajajjaah. I’m not on jahamahale, I’m not on halaja, but the fact of the matter is I should be, and trust me, this isn’t sour grapes, but the fact that “jamahal” is in the main event of WrestleMania next year and I’m not makes me sick!

Oh hey, let me get something straight, those of you who are cheering me right now… you are just as big a part of me leaving as anyone else, because you’re the ones sipping out of those jahalama right now, you’re the ones that buy those majalahalajahahaaaaa that my face isn’t on the cover of, and then at five in the morning at the mahal, you try to shove it in my face thinking you can get an autograph and sell it on jahal because you’re too lazy to get a real job.

I’m leaving with the Jahalama on July 17 and hell, who knows, maybe I’ll go defend it in Mahaalajar… maybe I’ll go back to Maharja… hey, Jahalharas, how you doing? The reason I’m leaving is you people because after I’m gone you’re still going to pour money into this company — I’m just a spoke on the wheel — the wheel’s gonna keep turning. And I understand that… that Hajamaste gonna make money despite himself… he’s a jinder who should be a mahal… you know why he’s not a mahal? It’s because he surrounds himself with glad-handing nonsensical hajamanyes-men like Majahaahaha, who’s gonna tell him everything he wants to hear… and I’d like to think that maybe this company will be better after Majajajajajajajaahaahalala is dead, but the fact is it’s gonna get taken over by his idiotic maja and his doofus jahara and the rest of his stupid mahali.

Let me tell you a personal story about Maharaahaha. You know we do this whole jahalali…

/r/SquaredCircle Thread