I think, this is one of those situations where white lies are going to be a lot easier than the truth.

Saying you can’t afford the trip, or you can’t take off from school due to a graduation dependent project, or you can’t take off from work to see her in the hospital and also an upcoming funeral? All things that go over much easier than “I’ve been looking forward to her dying for years, but no thanks.”

My own JNGrandmother is in hospice care with stage IV dementia. I’ve been on the “hurry up” train for about 5 years or so.

Your dad (and similarly, my mom) will have a lot of feelings about their mothers dying- having a JN complicates that quite a bit. They’re mourning the loss of the person who gave birth to them, along with the idea that their JN could have ever changed. Once they die- they are what they were. Awful people, with no chance of redemption anymore.

And people in that headspace will likely not handle the truth well- and it’s not really the place to tell them either.

I say- tell whatever lie you need to tell, to keep yourself in school and moving forward.