Welcome to the jungle!

I'm now close to 30, graduated from school 8 years ago, and have worked nothing but entry level office jobs where my biggest priorities involve handling the shit work no one else wants to do.

When I was younger, and still attending college, I worked a variety of landscaping and manual labor jobs. I always thought to myself, "I can't dig ditches for a living." Now that I'm in an office environment all day, every day, and dealing with the various cliched office grievances (e.g., the corporate totem poll, sensitive coworkers, plotting peers, office politics, etc.), I wish for nothing more than the simplicity and peace of mind that comes from a hard day's work with one's hands. I come home, mentally exhausted, and barely have energy to begin yet another job search as I lament the fact that I'll probably never work anything but one entry level job after another. It makes me regret ever having thought that ditch digging was somehow ignoble. I was far happier, but the pay sucked.

Now, the pay still sucks, but I can't make as much as I do working landscaping. Therefore, I'm trapped in this cubicle, literally thinking, at times, how a major ailment might be favorable when I consider the myriad problems of no substance I face each and every day. I've reached a point where cancer seems favorable, because all I deal with all day are the most petty, inane, bullshit issues that have no bearing on "real life," and merely frustrate me to the point of suicidal thought.

There are times when I really wish past me had thought more about future me, so that present me wouldn't want to go back in time to murder him.