The next morning I had one of those, “Does the notch count if…” discussions with my boy.

“Hey, man,” I asked, “Does it count if you get it halfway in, but can’t get it all the way in, because she’s too tight?”

“Ah, man, that’s a tough one. You had the intent. She had the intent, but you weren’t fully in.”

“Yeah, but I was halfway in. Do I gotta be balls deep? She told me she had only been with two other guys, and I believed her. My dick would only go halfway in before she started screaming in pain. I did like 3 or 4 half pumps. Does it count?”

This sounds like a conversation that two pubescent boys might have.