3. Just fled relationship and wondering if this counts as abuse

Just fled relationship and wondering if this counts as abuse

You left him. You and he were not compatible in a relationship. I say that because he didn’t enhance your life or inspire you. He said and did things to make you feel bad. What it 100% of the time? No. It is rarely ever 100% all bad. He did some good things. I would bet that every time you got close to breaking up, he would be nicer so that you would stay. Sometimes he was just good enough for you to stay. while that’s a way to live, it’s no way to thrive.

You deserve to be in a relationship where you can thrive. Your partner should be one that enhances your life and inspires you to thrive. Is that 100% good, no. There is good and bad in every relationship. I follow the 80/20 rule. I love 80 pct of it, and the other 20pct I work on to find ways to deal with it. Out of that there is maybe 5% that is ugh, but minor annoyances.

Now, you seem to be stuck on analyzing your relationship with your ex to make a determination it was abusive. Why? He is your ex. Why do you want to focus on labeling your old relationship?? That is looking backwards. Stop trying to analyze the past.

Look forward. What do you want to do to improve your life? Plan an adventure. Find a new hobby or activity to start. Go on outings with friends and only talk about the future and what you want to do or are planning to do. No more discussing the past. It’s over. focus on yourself for a bit. work On strengthening your. Mind and body through new activites. Take a class on climbing at a local climbing gym. That is a great way to exercise your body, focus your mind, and meet new people. Or take up martial arts, another exercise of mind and body and you can learn self defense tactics. Find some festivals or concerts or bands to go see.

Stop trying to analyze the past, it’s too recent. Look forward and starting doing new stuff. focus on enjoying activities and making friends. At some point down the road, if you want to analyze the past, ok. But you don’t need to do that now, right now you need to start A new chapter in your life. And no dating for at least 3 months. You need to focus on yourself and get busy on a new chapter of fun activities and adventures.

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