He literally said "because I said so" when his daughter asked why she couldn't go out with her friends. He tracks their locations on their phones. He has a strict, 1 minute late and you're grounded policy for curfew with no exceptions. There's other things I hold issue with but my biggest issue is that he used to spank them when they were little "because that's how kids learn"
There's nothing wrong or strict about his parenting. Sometimes no matter how many reasons you give a kid, they'll just keep asking for something. You don't know if maybe his daughter is like that, so he has resorted to "because I said so", because that's all she'll listen too.
Tracking locations on 16yr olds phone is not a bad idea with the way the world is right now, so I don't see how you have a problem with that. It keeps them safer for their parents to know where they are.
The curfew thing is a little questionable, but maybe they have pushed way passed curfews before. This is his way of correcting that behavior and theres nothing wrong with that.
You've only known the guy for a year. You don't know how his life has been for the last 16yrs of his kids lives, or what kind of things he's had to deal with regarding them. So don't assume he's doing all of this just to be "strict", because you don't really know anything about him or his kids in hindsight.
And as for the spanking thing, well, more kids in this world need to be spanked nowadays. People saying "spanking is wrong or abuse" are the reasons why our generations are all going to crap. Why 5 year olds are cussing out their parents. Kids nowadays have no respect, and they get away with it because their parents are now being told that "spanking" is abuse.
his kids were quiet and polite and respectful.
Good. We need more kids like this and father's like him if the human race is going to survive the next 100yrs.
Do I just completely stand my ground when it comes to parenting and just say that this is how we do it, end of story?
This will never work and will just cause problems. Don't try to control everything. Just because you don't agree with his parenting style doesn't mean yours is 100% right.
If your going to live together, you'll each have to compromise on some parenting styles on both ends. Come to a middle ground.
Unless you plan on having the kid live in seperate homes, then each of you can have your own styles, but that would just confuse the kid.