All are good points, thank you for this.

As much as we have the unfortunate burden of trauma from N Parents (no matter what the exact details) we are fortunate to have the insight to set ourselves free. See although you feel you are at a quite similar place again, you have clarity and liberty. Something most people don’t. To have the awareness- it gave you a chance for an authentic life, although painful.

Definitely... many people go their entire lives stuck in the cycle without really knowing what's happening.

And all for what. I went NC with this person and then even at their death I suffer. There is no end to suffering it seems, in this case.

My hope is that "this, too, shall pass" and things will go back to "life after narcissism" mode. I guess it's just different this time because now, with both parents gone, there's nothing left to fear. I don't have to ever worry about "the other shoe dropping." At the same time, it's sad, because... well, both parents are gone. It shouldn't have been this way.