Just found out that I was my bf’s plan B.

I think that grey area after you’ve started being physically intimate but before he’s committed to you is such a damn minefield. Because obviously you have strong feelings for him and want a commitment, but if you state that you need the commitment right away, you worry that it will drive him away and make him feel like he’s losing his freedom. But on the other hand, once you’re involved in physical intimacy, I can totally understand your expectation that he wouldn’t be pursuing someone else. It’s like if you say you need a commitment right away, you’re some kind of crazy stalker, but then waiting for him to finally bring up the exclusivity means that he can basically be screwing around with other women the same time as you and get off the hook by saying that he wasn’t breaking any rules. But many girls go through this and then the guy STILL doesn’t want her in the end and still doesn’t get the relationship. If he’s committed to you, showing up for you, telling you he loves you, introducing you to family/friends/ whatever, these are all major signs that he’s totally into you now.

/r/relationships Thread Parent