This is a tough one. I will say that in my situation as a daughter I often have what seem like similar feelings as your daughter does when it comes to my mother. I feel guilty for feeling that way and I know my mom often doesn't understand why her behavior is problematic, but me feeling guilty about the way I feel doesn't change the way I feel. I think what you need to realize is as hard as it is, it's going to take a long time to repair. Not months. Years. It took years for this to happen, and it may take that long to "fix it". She may overreact to or misinterpret the things you say, but realize that while you may be thinking of it in the context of the past couple months where you've been trying to change, she's viewing it in the context of her whole life where for a lot of that, there have been problems that seem to have gone unsaid and therefore unresolved. I realize it's hurtful to have these things brought up all this time later, but to her it likely doesn't feel that way and doesn't feel unfair because it's unresolved. I know there are reasons for the behavior that happened, but that's not what she needs to hear. That's likely going to feel like an excuse, and if you can excuse yourself from your past behavior based on circumstances, what's to say you wouldn't keep acting that way and continue to find reasons it's acceptable (I'm not saying you are that way, just how it can come off). So don't make excuses. Yes it's true that you worked long hours etc, but while the hardships in our life may make it more likely we'll take our stress out on those around us, it doesn't make it ok to have done that. So while it's tempting, avoid making excuses when these things get brought up. I would also say that while you feel like things are misinterpreted (and it seems like they have been), you need to try to understand why she's misinterpreting them so you can avoid similar problems in the future. For example, I don't know what the comment made after the national competition was, but say for example it was a yo-yo competition (and yes, I know this is a ridiculous example, but hey, why not) and you offhandedly said "man lucky they gave you guys the same brand of yo-yo you practiced with" thinking it was an off handed nothing comment, to her you just took all her hard work away from her and attributed it to luck. What you said may have seemed offhanded to you, but you took away her accomplishment, and it's important to recognize why it comes across in a different way than you meant it. And you need to (and it sounds like you're starting to) recognize the cultural differences between you and your daughter. In my experience with my mom, this can be one of the hardest gaps to bridge and can cause some of the worst unintended hurt. Again, I think you need to sit down with her and understand why a lot of these things have been so hurtful to her so you can make a better conscious effort in the future to be more understanding.