IMHO a better version would be

"Do not be trapped by the need to achieve something specific; this way, you will be free to achieve everything that needs to be achieved. Do not compete with what is happening; Find the greatest success that wants to happen next."

I think that avoids certain aspects that throw the baby out with the bathwater so to speak... getting rid of the competitive fight for the sake of going with the flow; turning the drive to achieve into a dirty word and looking to be handed results... not saying that's what it says, but those are interpretive pitfalls, and the emphasis could be squarely on the Tao without the generalization.

For example, the "to compete is to prepare for failure" sticks out of place here. Preparing for failure is important or failure will be quick and spectacular. Instead, we should realize that the part that's more important is re-focusing from changing the world or the nature of the world, to seeing the world through to a better version of the many selves it has the potential to be.

Just my 2cents though, haven't actually read Dune personally so i could be way off