Thank you for this comment.

I had tried to overcome my mental barriers and accept myself, maybe that was why three months ago I crossdressed under my jacket and went outside. I covered most of it with my jacket, I thought no one was going to notice or remember, but I was totally wrong. Whenever I go outside now, I'd always catch some people staring at me. I am sure they saw me on that day and recognised me.

If I were living in a more accepting society like liberal places in the US, I would definitely, without a doubt, transition, but I am living in a horrible place with horrible people that would film me, call police on me, or even physically attack me simply for subtly crossdressing.

Thank you for your comment, the last two paragraphs especially were very touching. I used to be ashamed of being transgender, I guess I still am ashamed to some degree, but it's hard not to feel this way, when all I did was dressing a little differently under my jacket one day, and I have been getting stared at like I am some pervert ever since.