Not an option, I'm afraid. I so so so wanted to just take a gap year to begin with, but what was I meant to do? I'm not self-directed enough to make proper use of my time, and after the colossal waste that was this summer(did start learning Python, but one super basic course counts for practically nothing), I knew I could never handle a gap year. As for next semester, well, the last time I checked, it's too late for that now, had to be at the beginning of the year.

I was actually on campus and had a miserable time, we'll see if being at home helps at all. I do feel a lot better about online classes now, and the courses that I'll be taking are a lot more interesting. I actually figured out that I was in the wrong major because I really didn't give a shit about most of my recent classes, which would've been fine normally, but clearly not in these circumstances.

so just because you’re stuck at home now it has to stop? I understand that things are a lot harder, by all mean, but there’s no reason for you to give up on yourself.

And ok, look. I know you mean well, but I really hate it when people do the thing where they hope to inspire someone by challenging them and/or trying to make them angry. Doesn't work on me, I'm afraid. Moreover, I never meant to imply anything like that, and people making incorrect assumptions about myself is a huge pet peeve of mine. I was just venting since this seemed like an appropriate spot, and you happened to catch me at my lowest.

Regardless, it's nice to finally talk about this, tbh. Onto the positives? Tomorrow I'll be sending out to applications for two retail job openings and continuing to research summer programs for this year. Plus I plan on taking Part 2 of the Python course. Oh and I started DM'ing a DnD campaign recently, which I think also counts as a win.

Tbh - and now this is a searing hot take that I'm very much not ready to accept yet, and might take years to do so - it might be a blessing in disguise that I failed Microbiology and the lab section of O-Chem. In a normal semester I would have easily aced both, and I might very well have continued with Biochem and not realize that I made a mistake until halfway into a PhD.