Just joined this sub, am 21, know I have a problem, have attended meetings but made a big mistake last night.

That's a great start, you sound like a nice guy, and look you might not like to think of yourself as an alcoholic, it is possible that it's the ritual that your addicted to rather then the substance itself, or maybe it's a bit of both but from what you described in your post, the fact that simply stopping at 3 tall boys is difficult, but making a notable effort to travel down the road and get more against your own wishes does suggest that something is wrong and nobody here is going to judge you for that mate, but when I think about my experience with this exact same behaviour, and the way it got to a point where I almost couldn't drink socially anymore in fact one night I got so wasted and desperate I almost walked along the side of a motorway (highly illegal and stupid) to get to the only 24 hour shop in my area, when I think of all the stupid little things I did just to keep the habit and the buzz going, and the way it progressed against my own will to the point where I couldn't even stay sober for a full week, I would say that I definitely became an alcoholic at least, and I wish I did something about it sooner but I was just so stuck in my ways and I was in a vicious cycle, I knew what I was doing was destructive and that I was killing myself but somehow the desperation kept coming back, the addiction was far more cunning then I was, and when I moved over seas on my own with nobody watching me, I'd end up nearly going through a 40oz every single night, don't let this happen to you I nearly destroyed my liver, and I didn't even realize how depressed and close minded I had become, and the weird thing is, after about a month or 6 weeks I didn't even miss it anymore in fact I started to feel 21 again! I felt so much stronger and so free it was like I was on happy pills but I wasn't this was just me and my new life kicking ass! I hope you can find the same freedom!

Anyway I'm going to stop preaching now, keep coming back!..

/r/stopdrinking Thread