The answer is obvious. I’d invite friends over for my birthday party (it’s coming up). It’d be a normal enough party. We’d drink, have some food, play some games. Except one game.... one game would be specifically added. For my birthday I’d want to play a friendly game of, put your fingerprints in this wax sheet I have.

Then I’d take the fingerprints of my greatest enemy (Joe from grade school who thought it would be funny to open the stall while I was in the bathroom). And place them in the crime scene.

Of course I’d already have a forensics team uniform purchased off my Amazon Prime Student account (who doesn’t). And wait patiently for Mr. Wick.

When he arrived I’d “finish” collecting the evidence and take the prints to my “lab”. Without 24-48 hours of processing I’d call him and release the results of the fingerprint analysis, even though of course I’m not supposed to release that type of info to the general public, but to Mr. Wick, I’m willing to make an exception.

Now I’ve successfully eliminated my greatest enemy, as well as acquired one John Wick as a friend who owes me a favor.

I believe that’s called getting two birds stoned at once.