I define transgender as someone who identifies differently from what they're assigned at birth, (assuming that generally such assignment is based on their genitals or chromosomes and in accordance with cis customs/binary), someone whose physical gender expression (shown by clothing, mannerisms, medical transition, or some combination) is alternate from their assigned gender (my perception of such efforts, or rather my ability to perceive them, for me personally, mostly hinges on things that are stereotypically considered masculine or feminine), or both. As someone who's amab, intends to get an orchiectomy, medicate with estradiol, and present/socialize in stereotypical feminine ways but continue identifying as male, I define myself as transgender. It's not a purely sexual thing. It's also personal and social. It's not a fetish when it comes to how I view and conduct myself in the majority of situations. I like chasers and being thought of as a sissy. I find it incredibly sad and hurtful when cis/trans men (assuming it's usually cis) try to view any of you the way that I want to be viewed. No one needs to live that way. If you define men or women as people who identify as such and make reasonable efforts to signal it it's unlikely I'd ever fail to respect that or interact with you in productive ways. A lot of it really comes down to how we define words. I've always felt this way. I'm not an asshole, I don't fetishize every moment of every day and every interaction with every person. I don't consider all trans women to be sissies. And I know you know that not all amab transfeminine transgender people identify as female. I support trans women and I don't actively oppose non binary ideologies. In fact, of all beliefs non binary people have which I know of, the only one I differ with is that what they define as genders, I define as personalities or moods. I know other people don't label things the same way I do but everyone labels things. If you speak a language and refer to a time, place, thing, idea etc with spoken words or written characters, then you label things. I have the sense to acknowledge that I see things differently than other people, I disagree with people on things, and certain things bother me. I assert that those things apply to all humans and I dislike it when someone denies they ever disagree with anyone on anything or are ever bothered by anything, a selfish lie very often told.