I have nightmares still where I accidentally drink and wake up relieved. It use to just be I would take three days off and feel like I accomplished something amazing. Life has a lot of tests, consider this one of them. If you are a part of a program or have some sort or sponsor I would immediately contact them. If not, I would try to do the things you did before that helped you stay sober.

It's a hell of a thing, sobriety. One worth working towards again, regardless of how many times you fuck up. Im not coming across super poeticly, just wanna let you know you arent the first, and it doesn't define you. Try not to indulge in self pity, addiction feeds off that shit.