I know that for myself, and a lot of other single Moms, if you're dating you're dating and that has nothing to do with the kids.

I wouldn't put myself out there to date unless things were stable at home and with the kids' Dad. No 'baggage' in that regard. My kids have a great Dad, and we have a great and amicable custody arrangement in which I get a lot of time free just for me. I date within this time. There is virtually no crossover between my kids and the man I'm currently dating, and the only reason why there has been any is because we've been dating long-term and he's a nice guy that is genuinely interested in my life, but the meet-ups have been few and far between.

I'm not looking to get married or for a new baby daddy. My kids don't need that drama in their lives and they come first. I am an adult with my own life goals, needs and ambitions, and I'm a better parent because I get to nurture my identity outside of parenthood as well. I'm currently dating an amazing man and it's a semi-long distance relationship so the weekends that I have no kids are extreme couple time and it's like a vacation for me. We both have our own lives and careers during the week and come together on weekends and that works great for us. I wouldn't be in a relationship currently unless those boundaries could be met because I'm not an irresponsible parent.

I have had short term partners that have never even met my kids. I have dated single Dads however in the past and have had the 'You're their new step-Mom!' dynamic almost instantaneously and expected me to care for their kids like a mother would and it's not healthy for anyone. Especially when they've wanted to get the kids together early in the relationship before I know what the longevity of the relationship is looking like. Yes, let's get the kids to bond with each other so when the relationship fails its painful for the kids. I noped right out of the last attempt at that. I don't know why anyone would do that to their kids.

My current partner has met my children and he's someone that's chosen to be child-free. He's 'Mom's cool friend.' that helps them with their tech and fixes things, and likes a lot of the same geeky stuff they do. But hell no they are not in any way his responsibility even when they're in the same room, nor do I expect him to be anything other than Mom's cool friend when he does choose to be around them. I think it's really irresponsible when people insert (especially repeated) new partners into their children's lives as essentially family members. They're only kids for so long, surely you can wait or at least redefine your dating goals until they're older.