Looks better than some "professional" studios that do model shoots all the time. The thing with shooting headshots, art, architecture, and so on. Its about capturing something close to x. If you are shooting for a gallery, it's about getting the colors as close as possible. Architecture, it's about capturing the architects vision. With models, at least where you are at, it's about capturing an image best representing the model for whatever job. This might be the best shot but I am kinda of getting a dead fish vibe from her. Definitely not an insult on your work (not without knowing the model) but I would worry about the aura of the model just as much as the editing.