I think about this a lot. I wonder if this has all been the result of some sort of bad karma. To have my dreams come true, and then taken away. I married the man I want to spend my life with. I was my best friend and the best thing to ever happen to me. And he ran away to another continent a month later. He hates me, he has me blocked on literally everything, and we haven't had a conversation longer than 3 minutes in a month. There is nothing I can do to convince him to come home or to choose us. To choose our love and the life we were building together. He doesn't seem to remember any of the love or friendship or happy moments we shared. He treats me like a stranger. It's possible he may even have already found someone else.

It feels like it I must have really, really fucked up somewhere along the way to deserve this. Maybe I'm the bad person I always thought I was, and I don't deserve a happy ending.

I am humiliated and shattered, and every time I think I'm doing better, my heart breaks all over again.