From a species survival standpoint, young get together for sex with the best possible reproductive partner - to leave the best offspring to perpetuate their genes. CIS folks find this kind of sexual relationship easier, because natural selection favors it heavily. Human cultures favor it for the same reason, survival of the species.

It doesn't necessarily lead to love, or happiness, for any one individual.

Your 'stain' is part of who you are, your past is your precious story, every scar is proof of life. You really need to want someone to see all of that, and love you exactly because of that. To love you scrubbed bare, and dressed to the nines, and everything in between. And that person may not be just one person, but maybe a small group of friends, maybe a lover, maybe something else entirely. And yes, it is harder for you, because you need someone bespoke and not just any off-the-rack style.

Find your own self, your own glamour, your own truth, and look for others who are living their own life in good faith.

I wish you well.