Congrats on the baby!!! :) I can only imagine that your mother's insults stem from her envy of your new, happier life without her.

Apologies in advance for the upcoming wall of text, but I can somewhat relate:

My mother came to visit a month or so after my daughter was born, and I too thought that our relationship could be mended. She didn't show up for my high school graduation or my wedding or the birth, so this seemed like an olive branch on her part.

She was supposed to stay for a week. She left early because she wanted to check on her house. It hurt. Okay, I was used to being hurt, whatever.

Then when my daughter was around 5, mom came up specifically to visit her and do grandmother-ly things. This was only the second time she'd seen my daughter. Planned the trip for months, and constantly called to make sure I had taken a full week's vacation from work. While she was here, she started a petty argument over something stupid, and when I shut her down, she played the martyr... until again, she left early. She "missed her dogs".

Except this time, my daughter was old enough to understand. She cried and asked me why Nana left when she was supposed to stay until that Saturday. My baby thought she had done something wrong. I understood my mother's game, but I was utterly heartbroken for my daughter.

I'll be damned if my mother hurts my daughter again.

Yes, there will always be a hole in my heart that I wish could be filled by a loving and sympathetic mom, but my responsibility now lies with raising a happy and emotionally healthy child, not with worrying about my mother's perceived loneliness (or what the rest of my family thinks). She had her chance. Her dogs and ego were more important. I sent my NC letter after that. My daughter and her feelings will always come first, no matter what.

Be strong and do whatever is best for you and your new family. Take care. :)