Just wish I could be high all the time. Fuck being sober in this shit world.

I did exactly that. In case anyone is curious where that path leads, I'll sum up what happened with me.

Diagnosed with major depressive disorder around 18. Was a daily pot smoker, drank sometimes. Eventually started trying pain pills because they helped with depression unlike the SSRIs they tried to give me. Did that daily, kept my tolerance low for a while but it eventually got higher. Then begins the cycle of using the drugs to get through work, and then using my paycheck to buy drugs, so it was a pointless cycle, I might as well have just quit my job.

Years later went to the methadone clinic for a year, ended up getting discharged for testing positive for benzos (etizolam). Stayed clean about 6 months, still didn't enjoy life. Tried meth.

Did that for a few years, but a lot of people in my circle were stereotypical meth heads doing shit I didn't want to be involved in. Learned how to make my own, ended up getting caught. Went to jail twice for manufacturing.

Went to rehab for 6 months and am now in drug court trying to fix all of the problems I created (credit score, etc.) Now I may not be the happiest person but I will at least be content when I have my shit in order.

Try to find some form of enjoyment and be grateful for the small things. Even if it's just escaping reality by watching a good scifi. It could be worse, and jail is pretty high on that list. So is having the state in control of your life with forced drug counseling, random drug tests, etc.

/r/Drugs Thread