Wow sounds like you went through so many traumas, with the fire and your parents fighting. I also was raised in a house of fighting, screaming and hitting between my parents, and it was like a secret I had to keep in every day at school while seeing the other 'happy' kids. The anxiety made me really shy and I've been lonely all my life. I made a few friends in middle school and they are my only close friends now at 27. I've always been shy. There's nothing wrong with me like I'm attractive and educated, have money.. but I'm so lonely and the stuff that I'm currently going through.. well I was with someone for a year and I was pregnant and thought I'd be getting married (my dream come true haha) but my partner's mother died and he was so sad he decided he doesn't feel like he could be with me or anyone for that matter. We were long distance for a year in different countries and finally the week he moved just 5 minutes away from me this all happened. So I had an abortion and ever since I can't get out of bed. I'm back to that lonely feeling I've had my whole life. My little sister is applying for med school and my death would destroy her too. That's the only reason I'm here..