You are NOT overreacting.

I’ve been with my husband for 15 years now. One of his mother’s favorite phrases has always been “Its just who I am!”

It seemed harmless in the beginning - but it became more difficult once we got married, and she wanted to visit and sleep in our bed because “he’s my son, I’m comfortable with him and it’s who I am!”

Or when we had children and she called them “my babies” and said they looked just like her and her son. And she wanted them to sleep over her house every weekend because she’s Grandma and that’s “just how I am!”

And when she wanted money from my husband “just for her” every month because “FAMMiILLLY” and “it’s just how I am!” Regardless of how this impacted our own household bills or regular financial goals - like owning a home (which ended up taking WAY longer to save for than necessary so she could be funneled money for her hair and nail budget).

You get the picture. She invaded your privacy and that’s a boundary for YOU. Your needs and feeling respected DO NOT go out the window to placate your SO’s mother. What you do now to accommodate her will dictate the future. Don’t make some of the same mistakes I did and laugh the seemingly “smaller” things off. Put a stop to it now.