What if you put the boiling water on that green grass and tell everyone that it's warm?

That makes it a whole different point and your analogy becomes invalid

But it's pretty inconsiderate to use such soft terms for harsh crimes

It's fine. I'll leave all the harsh crime stories for you to tell. I'm just a geography guy.

"Sarcasm? Nah, never heard of such things."

"You are like a goldfish" - "Fish do not talk" you really gotta up your sarcasm game

Sarcasm is an ironic or satirical remark that seems to be praising someone or something but is really taunting or cutting. Sarcasm can be used to hurt or offend or can be used for comic affect.