Look I just got out of an abusive relationship and it took me months of reading and soul searching to admit that to myself and walk away. This was one of many ways she was abusive. Stealing someone’s phone and reading their messages is emotional abuse any way you shake it. Find a list of abusive behaviors that doesn’t specifically include reading someone’s messages. I’m of the belief that there is never an excuse for abusive behavior, no matter how much you think they deserve it, no matter how insecure you are, you never have a right to invade someone’s privacy. Period. That includes my friend’s privacy too. If someone confides something in you and you know they wouldn’t tell your partner themself, then it’s a dick move to blab to your partner about it.

So you guys share EVERYTHING, there can’t be any privacy between you or else you can’t trust them. Jesus are you allowed to shit without asking your partner for permission? Sounds codependent and demanding your partner share absolutely everything will just encourage them to lie when they don’t want to tell you something. You never have a right to pry when someone tells you “that’s between me and a friend. He doesn’t want me to share that with anyone else.”