Kevin goes to Spain

Let's begin.

Our high school is three tiny towns all combined, my graduating class size was 42. In like 2012 It's proposed that the school will make a bike path connecting all three towns to the school. *Kevin tries to ride his bike to school before the path was made (still isn't). Is six and a half hours late for school. Tries to go to his first period. * Spanish club goes to Spain (You have to be enrolled in Spanish class to go. Kevin isn't.) Kevin steals a fundraising form from the class room, actually raises quite a bit of money and no one knew what to do so they just let him go.

Kevin is the most impractical person to try and do international travel with. * Is late for the shuttle bus that is taking students to Chicago O'Hare. Bus ended up going out of it's way to pick him up from his house... * Kevin forgot to bring any money at all. (Two meals a day were furnished by the tour company but that was it.) Constantly asking teachers to buy him beverages, churros and pointless souvenirs. * Kevin constantly gets lost despite our chaperons constantly doing head counts. * Kevin may or may not have jerked off in the restroom at the Prado in Madrid. *Kevin may or may not have jerked off in the restroom at the Salvador Dali Museum in Figueres. * Kevin DID jerk off in a restroom in the gift shop of the castle in Segovia. There was an optional day where you could pay the guides an extra 60 euros or some shit to take you down into Toledo and see swords get made and other awesome shit. Our teacher was willing to pay for Kevin but he decided not to go. The group who stayed got to just piss around in Madrid. * Kevin gets lost while in an Aldi type grocery store. They can't find Kevin. Chaperon freaking out. Crying. They decide to go back to the hotel and hope Kevin can make it there. I believe they contacted police on the way. * Kevin in hotel lobby. Says he can't remember which room is his. * Shit covered towel stuffed into the bidet. Kevin denies being in the room. * Bottle of Spanish Aldi brand soda sitting on night stand by bed. Kevin denies it is his. (He didn't have any money so we must assume he stole it) * Roommate absolutely livid about shit towel in the bidet, levels with Kevin that if he cleans it up he won't beat his ass. Kevin throws shit towel out of the bathroom window onto the busy sidewalk below. Police were called but basically just said stupid Americans and left. We also spent a day in Bilboa where there was a big street festival, people doing sexy dance fighting, huge drum lines. * Kevin tries to do karate on a sexy dance fighter - gets beat up in front of our entire group ( I forgot to mention we went with another school which happened to be from Chicago) Chaperons from both schools are crying and flipping shit. * Kevin almost gets beat up by another sexy dance fighter by saying he only lost to the first one because "that guy wanted to butt fuck me" In Bilboa there are also escalator type things right in the sidewalk because it is very hilly. (Like the walkways at airports for your luggage) * Kevin pisses off locals by riding up the walkways on his stomach * Kevin's hoodie string gets caught at the end of the moving walkway and he almost gets choked. He wrestles the hoodie off and it jams the whole thing. Kevin just gets up and keeps walking. (Also note: it was about a billion degrees and Kevin is wearing a hoodie.) Kevin's roommate at the next hotel happened to be from the other school and had bought a sword in Toledo. Kevin somehow stays at the hotel again while we go do other stuff (I think we're in Barcelona at this point. Details are getting kind of foggy). We all go out to dinner together and Kevin comes with after being at the hotel alone all day (wtf?). We get back and Kevin's key card won't open his door. His roommate from Chicago tries and his key card doesn't work either. Our teacher goes to the front desk to see what's going on. The hostess just holds up a garbage bag full of pillows that have been sliced to shit and tells the teacher that the pillows will have to be paid for before the room will be opened. * Kevin used his roommates sword to samurai slice every pillow in the room. (Roommate very pissed but is restrained.)

I think that's all my Kevin in Spain stories I can remember but I have two more.

So Kevin and I also went to the same church and had youth group together. Every year we decorated cookies and went caroling on before Christmas. Kevin was late so our leader called to see if he was coming. He tells her he broke his leg and can't go caroling and is resting at home. (We had all seen Kevin in school that day, literally like an hour before so we're all confused.) Our leader suggests that we take Kevin some cookies and carol for him. When we walk up to his house Kevin is walking around the yard with a BB gun. We gave him cookies, sang and no one even mentioned the broken leg thing, Kevin didn't even try to explain himself. Kevin also ate an entire pizza in the church's kitchen once while the rest of us were doing our bible study. He was supposed to be using the restroom. When our leader confronted him he just denied even knowing there was pizza, despite pizza sauce dribbled down his shirt.

It's also comical to mention that Kevin's dad owned the only convenience store in town at the time (We recently got a Casey's woooo). The store also sold guns, ammo and sporting supplies. At any point in time you can go into the store and find Kevin behind the gun counter talking out his ass about guns. Kids go there to watch the "Kevin Show" It's a trainwreck.

Edit: I can't fucking format.

/r/StoriesAboutKevin Thread