My mother had me 3 days before her 14th birthday. I was supposed to be given up for adoption but she changed her mind after I was born. Why? She said she wanted me, which still boggles my mind.
TBH, we fought like we were sisters my entire childhood. She admitted later she was jealous of me and the attention her parents gave to me So, a sister rivalry began in her eyes.
When I was 4, I used to pretend I was sleeping during Donahue (when my mom would pick me up from my grandma’s) just so I didn’t have to be with her. In fact, we’ve been estranged since I was 12 when my grandparents took guardianship of me. We’ve had sprinklings of visits or calls over the years that never last.
To me, my mother made my childhood so much harder than it needed to be. I used to wish she would had adopted me out like she originally planned. I was doing dishes by 5, babysitting my younger siblings home alone at 7. I was told many things I shouldn’t have been and it honestly f’d me up for a long time (thank god for therapy, my husband and meds). I was subjected to a dysfunctional family and abusive stepfather who controlled my mom because she always thought, “Who would want me with 4 kids?” spleen (a disgusting excuse she used to say to keep horrible men around).
I was looked on with pity by my friends’ parents because I had no idea who my father was - he was unnamed on my birth certificate and refused to tell me even his name until I was 22 and she called out of the blue with it - though couldn’t give me a proper spelling of it.
That said, I was advanced for my age growing up and due to that & what life threw my way, I had massive support by my primary teachers. In addition, I was raised in the SF Bay Area and what a difference that makes being the child of a teen mother. I’ve thrived in life but it‘s had nothing to do with her.
I had to grow up way too soon due to a child having a child. I think there are some teen moms that can thrive, but it is dreadfully rare to find a girl of 14 who can successfully raise a child/ren without it impacting them. So much so, that I was told all my life that teenage pregnancy is a cycle. The day I turned 20, I called my family and said, “I guess I broke the cycle.”