Hi Stupidducks,

This isn't something to worry about, it's perfectly natural and happens to all of us occasionally.

Our dreams reflect our expectations - if in a dream you think that you can't control it, your dream will happily give the exact experience you expect.

The key here is to realise that dreams reflect your expectations, or in other words: in dreams, thoughts become your experience.

A good way to counter this, if you're having trouble, is to use a technique that I call "reframing". The process is simple, you try and imagine the dream being controlled through a different means to the one you're attempting, choose something you'll find easier to believe will work.

As an example, I've often used the mental trick of imagining I'm in a voice activated virtual reality simulation. It's just a little easier to convince my mind that my wishes will materialise in this scenario. It gives the mind a plausible excuse.

Also, take the time to reflect on your true situation after you become lucid. Don't jump into immediate attempts to control the dream. Remind yourself of what a dream really is, a construct of the mind. A dream is simply your thoughts and mental process coming to life in a full three dimensional hallucination.

Also try working with small aspects of control: Look at your dream hand, bend your fingers - then remind yourself that this is a dream hand, not a real physical hand. Tell yourself that being able to control this one particular illusion is no different than controlling any of the other illusory aspects of the dream.

Also, as you mention flying. A good reframing tactic for this goal is to consider the air as water, and then swim through the air.

Sometimes also simply forcing yourself to do something impossible will help - such as jumping out of a window. Often you'll find yourself flying before you hit the ground, or you'll hit the ground without being hurt. Either outcome will reinforce the illusory nature of the dream and improve your belief in your ability to control it.