I see you are replying to all comments, dont feel pressured to do so on this one!

You sound burnt out, totally understandable, i've been where you are and i was sooo against sleep training them because i didnt like and couldn't tolerate the sound of crying. I felt that i was sometimes a danger to my children and would have to put them in a safe place and take a breather to calm down... i found a lot of good accounts that helped me pull through.

Specially one where sleep training didn't require them letting them cry ans cry and cry. It was a couple of rough days but it was SO worth it. Also naps are essential + quiet time for toddler.

You will get through this, also look into antidepressants , i was against even considering it beacuse well, the stigma. I got prescribed a reaaallly small dose (that doesnt even require prescription) and in 1 week i was feeling SO much better, they were just the kick i needed and only took them for a few weeks.

If you are interested i could send you some of the accounts that i found helpful!