its not just this. its the constant put downs and insults against my character. its the physical stuff too though for whatever reason that never bothered me as much. but i have bruises and scars all over my body from him. ive had to avoid seeing anyone for weeks at a time until my face healed from him hitting me. he has said and done so many things to me that have worn me down and made me feel worthless. i never contemplated suicide until this relationship. but i have multiple times especially in the last 6 months or so. sure hes desperate. but hes also abusive. does telling someone theyre worth nothing and will never be worth anything, that no one else could ever love them or want them, not count as abusive? he told me im lucky i cant have kids because a child born to me would be doomed to a life of misery.