No. I was seven when my dad died and about 10 when I figured out she was a drug addict. Over the years I stopped hoping she could get clean and realised this was her new reality.
I’m 33 now and she is on methadone again after having a major relapse last year (relapse for her means stopping methadone and using heroin again). She will never have a normal life. She has lost teeth, had to get fingers amputated, lives in a really terrible situation and I am really scared for her future because the liberal government are stripping away things that help people like her survive.
Honestly, sometimes I find myself wishing for her to pass away just because of how much less stress I would feel for her and so she could finally rest and not be in pain. It’s an uncharitable thought and I don’t actually want it.
We love each other dearly but I’ve had to distance myself for over the years to have a relatively normal and peaceful life. She tries not to ask me for money too much and I give her some every now and then but have to decline her sometimes so she doesn’t get take advantage.
It’s not ideal, but it’s life and you have to find a way to deal with the emotions that come with it because sometimes you don’t have the power to change it.