Bless you for reaching this self awareness.

As my divorce was unfolding we went through what’s called a “chain analysis” which let us map an argument out step by step. Turns out when I opened up with my most personal, painful memory from childhood in an effort to help her understand my sensitivities better, she decided it was a personal attack on her and went after me.

When she finally stood down her own inner critic and looked at what I said with different eyes, she said “that’s beautiful!” But too late, too many years of relentless criticism - the relationship bond was gone by that point.

More self awareness on her part and the marriage might never have ended.