Lady Dimitrescu (Resident Evil Village) vs. Shaquille O'Neal (NBA)

I think Dimi has a better shot than you're giving her credit for in R1.

She's a 9'6" super-human. Shaq's primary offensive weapon was utilizing his size masterfully and tactically to bully or finesse his way to the basket. He was bigger than the small guys (still big, to be clear) and faster than the big guys. His genetics played a huge part of his success, he was famous (or infamous) for his lack of effort, and his success regardless. While I don't fully agree, the statement that a 6'6" Shaq would've been flipping burgers has been made often enough. At 6'6" he would have been around half a foot shorter than an average(ish) center, compared to Dimi, at his regular height, he would be a full 29 inches shorter.

Here is an image for a height, and size comparison. Shaq is probably comparable to Mr. X. Notice that she is not only much taller, but also proportionally wider.

Even though he fully and completely outskills her, even if he drop-stepped her to oblivion, I don't think there's any situation where he could even get a shot up. Him going full diesel power straight into a dunk would still get absolutely smothered by her. It would be like playing against a child for her. A child who is very good at basketball, but a child nonetheless.

I don't think I need to talk much about his shooting capabilities, but I think this would be his best bet. Throwing up shots and hoping for lucky makes or goaltends. Which, honestly, would be hard to avoid when your head is nearly grazing the rim. Looking at his history, this obviously isn't in his wheelhouse. Even his longest range shots are still jump hooks, which Dimi could stuff or contest to an insane degree.

Defensively, I think Dimi would struggle with dribbling and shooting, but if she got within a certain distance she could just power straight through him. His best chance would be to strip her before she gets that close. But a light contest from him would probably be all it would take to ruin her shooting.

But we've seen unskilled big men excel at the game at the highest level before. Obviously Dimi would be lacking the coaching, but players like Joel Embiid and Tim Duncan had very little basketball experience and have done great regardless. Just a little bit of athleticism goes a long way in basketball when you're that size. Adding an extra 2 feet to either one of them, along with superhuman abilities makes it unfair.

TL;DR: Anyone capable of motion who stands 9'6" would be in the NBA. A superhuman one with vampire powers would go first overall and probably beat any NBA hall of famer who doesn't have good enough handles and a jumpshot. Shaq has neither.

/r/whowouldwin Thread Parent