I dislike Lady Gaga.
Why? Well I feel like I never got a chance to like her. When she showed up she was all like "OMG LOOK AT HOW FUKIN TRENDY I AM MEATDRESS BITCH! I AM GAY FUK U HO DEAL WITH IT"
Then when I turned on the radio her songs were playing every single day on the way to work and on the way home. I was like... "well ok." Then I started to hate her songs because I heard them too much. And now they're like "HEY LOSER LISTEN TO THIS SHIT AT GRAMMYS AND FOOTBALL SHE IS FUKING GREATEST SINGER ALYVE SO MUCH TALENT FUKBOI"
And I felt kind of sad. Because I didn't join in with everyone else who said she was great.
The same think kind of happened to me for Adele. I heard a song and thought "boy that's a swell song!" Then everyone was like "THATS THE BEST FUKING SONG EVER U TWAT FUKING LISTEN! NOW LISTEN TO THESE 40 PEOPLE COVER IT! BEST SELLING SHIT EVR!"
And I thought... well maybe you're just happy to be able to sing along for once. No one else can sing that slow for all of us to understand and still sound good.
Then Kanye came out with a new song and I thought "aw man, i lyked dat ole jams better" and people were like "HEY FUK U U OLD SHIT LISTEN TO LED ZEPPLIN YOU GRANDPA BITCH YEEZUS IS THE GR8EST EVER FUKHOLE HE HAZ 90000 GRAMMIES AND ZEPPLIN HAS A HOLE WHERE DICK LIVES LOLOLOL"
And then I wondered if I was normal. I wondered why I don't think everything that everyone else thinks is the greatest thing ever is the greatest thing ever. Then I wondered if I would think it if no one else thought it. Then I grew a neck beard and wore a fedora. Then people said I can't fly a drone in a women's locker room at the gym. So now I have to work out at home, but my p90x tapes won't play in my laptop. So then I tried to turn on the radio but all that as on was Justin Beiber and Selena Gomez and I wished that Lady Gaga would come back. So I went to the store and bought some steak.
I cooked it over an open flame and did a magical dance to the heavens. And now she's here to sing the National Anthem at super bowl fitty! I'm so stoked. She iz the best singer alyve ryte now. So much talent!