I was going to make several posts here, but I think I'll just do one with all my crazy shit I saw.

• A guy came in who was riding with some guy from Maine. Passenger was black, driver was white. About 30 minutes later black guy comes in the store again with large patches of skin on his arms and legs missing. White guy was apparently a racist asshole and black guy said "fuck it, I'll walk" went to get his stuff from the trunk and the dude pulled off, dragging him behind the car for about a mile. Ambulance took about 30 minutes to show up. They caught the driver about 100 miles south, doing about 110 on the highway. They think he was on meth as well.
• Dude came in to buy beer. Girl followed him and started screaming at him for riding with another girl. Other girl was waiting in car. They go outside and girls start screaming at each other. First girl slaps hood of 2nd girl's car, 2nd girl dives over car and clotheslines her. About 20 of their friends (knowing this was going to happen) run around from the side of the building and start circling around the fight and fighting with each other. I call 911, rings 24 times and no one picks up. There were about 6 cop cars across the street because someone had just been shot at another store, so one comes over. Everyone scatters except the two girls and the guy in the car. 2nd girl gets back in the car and peel out. They drive around the parking lot and throw a bag of crack into our car wash. More cops pull out, arrest the two and pull the car inside out. Meanwhile, girl #1 is shirtless with her tits bouncing everywhere (she was a big girl too) and yelling at the cops "I'LL TESTIFY! I KNOW WHERE HE KEEPS HIS STASH!" 1st cop came inside afterwards with a look of amazement and just said "damn, those titties."
• The neighborhood crackhead came in, drunk, around 3am, flashed me her tits, then started telling me how her boyfriend left her that day for some skank. Ended up talking to her for about an hour about how she can better her life.
• co-worker stole a customer's wallet. I was the one who caught her by looking on the video cameras to see where they had "misplaced" the wallet. That was awkward as fuck.
• Guy came in bleeding from the top of his head and bought a 12 pack. He had tried to fight a car on his bicycle. The car had won. He got drunk to cope with the defeat.
• Stupid woman I was working with carded a 50-something black guy and his 5 friends (all around the same age) for a 12 pack. He thought it was funny and asked "Do I really look that young?" and she replied "Well, you can never tell with you people." His 5 friends had to carry him out of the store. No matter how much I tried to explain to this woman, she did not comprehend why he was upset. Same woman gave co-workers lingerie for Christmas, except that is was her USED underwear. She got fired for something equally stupid a few months later.
• Crazy lady who worked with us liked to try to talk to the migrant workers in Spanish, except that she couldn't speak Spanish. One day she wore a maxi pad as a face mask when she was bleaching the floors, except that she didn't take it off when she was done and kept interacting with the customers. She tried to make the painters who were there to paint the outside do extra work in the back room. When they refused, she disappeared. We found her 3 hours later having what could only be described as "a fit" behind the toilet in the bathroom. The district manager was there that day and she was fired immediately.

It's funny, most of these things were fellow employees being crazy, not customers.