I've a 'traveler soul' like it's hard to explain. It's like I feel like a global citizen and I feel like I belong to the Universe and not any particular country lol . Like my entire personality or taste is an complex blend of different cultures like I usually fit into any situation or culture no matter how foreign it is like a chameleon and people usually have an idea that I belong to a country but in reality I haven't even visited the country. For example, I'm an American and I fooled some Italian people into believing that I've Italian ancestry ( I'm sorry lol) and same thing happened in an Indian and Mexican forum or when I go to a Hindu temple or attend a Mexican wedding. Also if you tell me to fit in a 18th century France or England royalty or even in ancient Greece or Egypt I'll fit into it easily lol . The funny part is or weird part is I've never ever traveled to a distant state land let alone any foreign county. I'm literally a "homebody" and my parents sometimes criticize me that I don't go out anywhere . During High School I skipped classes notoriously and stayed at home for 4 months without moving an inch outside our house . I'm now in College first year and have skipped 99.9% classes already .
I'm a paradox. I've like terrible social anxiety and there was a time I used to hide from neighbors so I kept windows closed all the time . I want to remain alone but sometimes I get this extreme urge to socialize with others and dance and sing or to do something productive together . I was bullied a lot at school and never had a friend since childhood bc everyone hated me for my pale skin and acne during middle school. So maybe I got social anxiety from that.
Also the funny part, our house isn't really my home . Like it's pretty dysfunctional and full of domestic violence, etc. so I don't even get peace at home often. But I love my family no matter how it turned out to be .
I was always a pretty good student at school and even got a writing job at 17 for a local newspaper and ended up getting the Best Writer and Best Photographer trophies respectively within one year . Like I covered many relevant topics and took interviews of famous fashion illustrators . I'm not boasting but the only time I feel happiness when I'm creating something maybe completing an article , taking a photograph and editing it , etc.
I was always pretty good at painting and I feel happy when my art is appreciated .
People say that and even my music teachers at High School suggested me to become a singer but I'm not sure .....
I did some theater as a child and pretty much got good recognition in the circle but stopped suddenly because it was extremely stressful for me and even started to bad grades at school bc I couldn't even get the time to study . I loved acting btw .
I never had any supportive teacher and even my teachers literally hated me. I've had been slut shamed and suspected of doing illegal activities even without any proof or whatsoever ( I never had a boyfriend, I wear long sleeves and is always wearing jeans and nothing short , I don't even drink or smoke , never went to a party, I don't even wear makeup so Idk why they think that lol .
So, the funny part is even though I got good grades and won many trophies since childhood my teachers never liked me as a student . Once they called my parents and told them that I'm a horrible child and should give proper parenting haha . I got second rank in my class that year but still.....
People of other schools used to think I'm the "Queen Bee " or a " mean girl" but in reality noone dated me and was never a part of the school cheerleading team , never had any friend let alone joining a group . I never had any friends at my workplace either because they thought I'm too "too ambitious .
So I needed to clear this .....although I'm a Libra Rising , I was never sociable enough . I don't know how to 'please' people in generl as Libra risings are usually stereotyped to be as being a social butterfly.
Speaking of my school life , I never attended my High School farewell and as I never had a boyfriend I couldn't go to prom .
Many people have suggested me to get a Psychology degree by seeing my MC but the funny part is I suffer from multiple mental illnesses so I don't think I can treat others well .
But, I recently discovered tarot and stuff . They seem so interesting. Also I grow flowers and herbs now ( thanks to my mother who loves gardening) . My mother is thinking to grow crops too lol but I'm more into growing flowers and medicinal herbs .
I'm vegan and as a child I wrote a book on vegan recipes ( Idk where I kept it though lol ) . My parents disapprove of veganism in general but still I feel extremely sad for animals and planets. I feel bad for plants too idk why .....
Long story short, all my life I've felt like a girl locked in a tower with a wandering soul ( I see weird places in dreams as if my soul have went to that place lol ) so figuring out what to take up as my profession is like the toughest thing .
Thanks for reading my long af reply .