Don't contact her for a while.. She seems very confused about what she wants, so let her come to you. I don't know what's up with the ex but he seems to be a source for her confusion, but she needs to be the one sorting her feelings out.

Now, I know this is not what you want to hear, but trust me I was in your place recently. A guy I was getting super close with (flirting, skyping for hours, you name it) recently turned cold me and I stupidly didnt back off imediately and kept trying to do behave as before but it was like I was talking to a wall (either no reaction or just an ok). Eventually I realised I was the one starting all communication and the whole situation just made feel like shit and still does sometimes. In my case it wasn't an ex, but actually his whole life right now (+ some depression too). Our communication is shit rn, and I've pretty much lost all hope with us working out but frankly you shouldn't invest on low investment.