Yeah, my parents have actually been great. My wife is hesitant to cut ties with her parents, which I can understand. Had it been my parents who reacted this way I would have been much bolder in rejecting their intolerance and lack of love in many ways, one of which would be distancing myself from them until they learned how to love me instead of their religion.

We actually were successful in getting my FIL to apologize for some hurtful things he said when he was outraged over us leaving. It took 3 months, 2 months for him to realize he had said some wrong things and one month to actually apologize (it wasn't a great apology, but we took it because he has literally never apologized to any of his children before). My wife dodged calls and requests to visit with 'we are still working through our feelings and need some more time until we are ready'. Of course that prompted some immature reactions from my MIL but, eventually they had said hurtful things and it worked out.

Overall, it has just been really disappointing to get to know my in-laws this way and see more of their condescending, petty side.