I have a strong suspicion that we have backgrounds in the same religion....

So pretty much, I can relate and say it's possible to move past and unpack that. I really, seriously, would urge you to take the other commenter's advice about finding a therapist and learning to be comfortable/more in tune with yourself first. My used-to-be-pretty-vanilla spouse and I made some pretty crappy mistakes rushing into the kink stuff, that could've been avoided if we weren't both still too emotionally immature to begin with. Seriously, that religion sets you up with a recipe for codependency and plenty of other issues.

Springing something like this on someone who you've been with a long time can be a rough transition. They could feel guilty or inept for not noticing earlier. In addition, you run the risk of starting to feel guilty as well or worry something is wrong with you. Those aren't good feelings to mix in and it is worth the all the many purposeful, empathetic conversations to sort through any of that.

Best of luck whatever direction you end up going.