You are absolutely right. He is a complete child. I feed him, clean up after him, care for him, wake him up, even occasionally bring him his clothes to bed. He get's annoyed if i don't cook/clean, or if i just plain refuse to bring him something because he's just as able to get it himself, like making coffee or a sandwich. "Thanks for nothing," he'll say. He takes temper tantrums and he's manipulative. Plays videogames all night and sleeps all day. As time has passed, I've felt significantly older than him, and it might actually be true, mentally.
I've felt this way for years, increasingly as time has passed, but I've been brushing it off, honestly. Reading this from another person is making me realize how childish I've been myself, being so blind to this problem for so long. It's been 5 years of my life now.
It's an extremely sensitive subject to him though. He's been babied by his mother since he was literally a baby. Literally, she buys him cars and upgrades regularly (We drive a big, expensive jeep. We are students.), she bought the house we live in but we pay it back as if we would normally. She's bought us/him education. She buys furniture for our house (Bed, wardrobe, bathtub...)
This has bothered me since it started and it makes me miserable, but I'm just realizing how extremely unhealthy it is, especially for him, since he's never actually gotten to grow up and build a life himself. I can't believe she's doing this to him. As i said, he's 27 years old, but he still dresses like a 17 year old. Often behaves that way, too. Get's pissy if i mention that he could maybe put on nicer clothes for our midwife appointment, or just whatever we're doing.
It's become quite obvious that my main issues are not what i had grown to believe. It's him. Whenever i tell him i don't find him supportive, he'll tell me I'm not being supportive, either. But this issue doesn't really belong on this subreddit anymore.
I honestly don't think that 2 yes = yes, 1 no = no would work, since he'd just exaggerate to get his way. He's ridiculously good with words and excuses.
Oh my god I'm going to have to re-think my life now. I'm having a baby in 3 months, and apparently i will be taking care of two. I've actually already mentioned this to him, that I won't be able to feed him, clean his dishes and such, so he'll have to do it himself. I doubt that will ever happen, honestly.
THANK YOU for taking the time to talk to me, I don't feel as if it's all in my head anymore. For once, I don't feel like the manipulative one. I can't even begin to express how much i appreciate this. It's just been years of looking in the other direction, this feels weird as hell. Scary as hell. Okay I'm honestly terrified. I believe this "problem" of his isn't mine to fix, though. He believes he's been ready to have a baby for years, and that it'll be a breeze. He even dared asked me if i was up for having another one as soon as possible "so they'd be close in age". Like we're getting a puppy.
Maybe he'll realize how wrong he is about babies when my little dude arrives. But I definitely won't feel so awful about wanting to nope the f*ck out of here if he doesn't grow up and change his ways, especially if he's going to be the one making me miserable. There's just no way i'll let him affect my ability of supporting and caring for my baby. I'm way too excited for that chapter in my life for him to ruin it.
Feels too late to do anything about this now, though.