Les Vendredis Libres/Freedom Fridays

Is anyone else's mental health completely fucked. It does not help that I am in between jobs at the moment (starting in the next couple weeks) but having my parents grow old, my sister 5000km away just makes me incredibly anxious and sad. I can't stop thinking about how pointless life is yet you have to make the big bucks to make it. I'm 34, I live in a very expensive over priced condo that I rent, it's driving me up the wall not being an owner but even though I have serious cash down, I've always worked in sales as self employed so im not even sure how banks will deal with that. I see everyone buying second properties and cottages up north and im here renting a fucking condo for the last 5 years. I feel EXTREMELY insecure about my future and basically when my parents are gone I will legitemely be all alone in this cruel world. I have friends, but you know how it is, friends are friends, nothing more. I feel like the amount of work I have to do to get to where I want to be is unsurmountable. I want a gf, I want kids, I want to be a property owner and most of all, I want financial security and job stability. I literally feel like in 5 years I could either be well off or living on the fucking streets and the thought is driving me insane.

Dating is incredibly hard lately and im saying this as someone who gets enough matches on tinder to have a date 3-4 times a week but you know, people are just so fucking caught up with their own things and everything is so fucking complicated im about to start asking girls straight up if they want to skip the whole "getting to know each other" part and just move in together and have a family. That's pratically where I am right now.

I try to think of the positive, I saw my entire family for xmas and everyone is in good health. I have an amazing job opportunity lined up and like I mentioned, I do have some good friends (which I hardly ever see) so I have that going for me.

But fuck the thought of being alone forever in this fucking crazy world is almost to hard to live through. I've been brainwashed by ideas of becoming rich quickly and I envy rich people so much, I really think 99% of my mental issues stem from the fact that I am financially insecure and If only I could have a huge sum of money in my accounts everything would be ok, I could buy land close to my family, spend time with my niece and not worry my self to fucking death about the future.

My existential crisis is very real and painful. Im living 100% of my time in anxiety and nervousness. There is nothing to do, my hockey league is cancelled, the gym in my condo is closed, the rink next to my house is fucking garbage, cant even skate on it. I've seen everything on netflix, I just wake up, turn on my ps4 and go between that and reddit all day, every.fucking.day. I cant take it anymore. Fuck Covid, Fuck the governement and fuck society for evolving into such a clusterfuck of a place where no one gives a fuck about anyone.

/r/montreal Thread