I’m seeing a relationship/sex therapist for the first time tomorrow with my spouse... I’m really nervous about it because I don’t often actually say what I mean. I have a tendency to shove everything down and be more passive aggressive. I know to make progress I will have to be honest, and that scares the crap out of me. We love each other and are going because we want every part of our relationship to be great. I guess I’m just worried about making him feel bad, and what his reactions are going to be. I have a lot of past sexual traumas, from rape at 16 to trying out the Lifestyle with my partner and failing miserably, to complete loss of libido and being a constant source of sexual disappointment for the last year. It’s a lot to unpack. I just want us to come out better on the other side of this. I hope I can hold it together and that my truth and traumas doesn’t hurt the person I love the most in this world.