After a series of bad trips, I read on some 'Psychedelic experience' by Leary and decided to follow his advice to meditate while coming up, no matter what happens or how I feel. It was an awesome advice and a total gamechanger, since this trip became breakthrough to me. During it for the first time I relived ego death consciuosly and became a witness to what Leary calls 'The White Light', which is an absolutely awe inspiring and spiritualy moving out-of-body hallucinations, that are very hard to describe but anyone who experienced them would immediately understand what I mean.

So, in my previous trips right before and during the peak I had immense difficulties with staying cosncious or sane, and I mostly experienced what you could gently call the symptomes of severe depression: anxiety, mood swings, paranoia, all the fun stuff. Especially, I had this continious unpleasant feeling like I'm plunging against the wall to get somewhere but to no avail. This time I started to feel the same way, and I'd almost dived into my usual struggling, when some voice in mind said from far away "Timothy Leary... dude... remember, meditate", and suddenly I remembered and I tried. The moment I concentrated my awareness and attention like you usually do in meditation, I felt like I'm being dragged from my mind, from my head somewhere outside, or inside, or fuck knows where. And not like in some fuzzy dream or a video-game, it was like I became a little version of me inside my head and this me was being pushed out of bounds of this world through some sort of womb or a very narrow tunnel. Except by that moment I was not a human being, but, and this is closest I can descibe it, a primordial worm or snake, working its body through thick meaty veil in this womb tunnel. I didn't have any of my usual thoughts and mind-made abstractions, just raw sensations of my worm's body, horror and awe. It was horrificly real and I've never felt anything like this in my life.

Recalling this later, I understood that it was kind of metaphorical hallucination to meditation attempts made up by my brain. The more I concentrated (crawled through the tunnel) the more I pushed through this veil; at the same time it felt a little like tuning the radio - you turn the handle in the right direction and the signal becomes clearer, but go over a bit and it fades. Same here: all the time I felt that I can give up and return to the unpleasantness of reality. But yeah, I pushed through.

This was my most prominent experience of kinesthetic hallucination, and sorry for a bit of an off-topic: since then I always recommend "Psychedelic exprience" and meditation to psychonauts, especially those who struggle. It doesn't matter what are your views on the conclusion Leary comes to when analyzing the experience, it's a great guide and an interesting take on 'Tibetian book of the dead'.