Yes. Though, they are still around my life.

I thoroughly investigated the possibility that they'd consider me. I needed a promise of belonging, and they ultimately weren't willing to belong to anyone. It broke my heart.

I ultimately chose to marry someone else, not romantically, but a marriage of convenience for both of us. I know that one day I'll have to stand by and watch him be romantically happy and affectionately satisfied by someone else, and I won't lie, it messes with me thinking those thoughts.

But, I guess, above all things, he is my friend - this amazing, intelligent, creative, self-secure, handsome, benevolent creature... and he belongs to no one until he wants to. It would be wrong of me to not let him fly free. It would be wrong of me to artificially capture his attention or to artificially attempt to possess him.

I still love him. I don't want to let him go, but one day he may, and I'll have to let him. I guess, to deal with it, I'll just have to let my heart go ahead and break. That piece will always belong to him anyway, so what if he breaks it, it hurts either way. I'd rather see his Strange face every week than live without it - even though there is nothing to be done - for as long as i can spend good times with him while it lasts.