I lied to my wife about never killing people during my time as a soldier in the Chechen War. I did kill people.

I dare to disagree wit your very reasonable and rightfully top voted comment. In my POV he told her wife that he neither saw nor did any killings in the war. That was sort of a "ticket" to their marriage, If I got it right. If her wife is such a pacifist, as he described her, he must never tell her even a flicker of the truth. Once he does so she will become suspicious that there is even more to be learnt and eventually made him told her the whole story. The consequence is obvious, she would felt betrayed and their relationsip would end up soon. My advice is just one: keep it for yourself, if you had courage to fight you must now find even greater courage to live with it. Never ever trust anyone but yourself. If you do so, you shall pay for it dearly.

/r/confession Thread Parent