PENIS STENCH
These are the five most common penis stenches, present in 99.9% of P.P. (Penis People).
CANNED SAUERKRAUT—The smell of ol' ’33—a sour, pungent, overcooked smell, reminiscent of a misused (people have pissed in it) hippie food in a composting bin on a hot summer day.
FERMENTED HERRING—A salted stink bomb—a gruesome smell of fish that has been embalmed in brine in a tin can for a quarter century. Rank and overpowering.
EGG CUM—Double Deviled Dick (semen)—the dried-up and caked-on Probo from a fat man who eats half a dozen eggs a day and then masturbates onto his belly without washing his hands or cleaning up afterwards. There are bits of egg directly on his penis, and entrenched in his Probo as well, with the resultant smell accurately described as “homemade mayonnaise from a discredited recipe.”
ARTIFICIAL FRUIT PUNCH—Hawaiian cock—a strong chemical smell and taste that frequently can be found in the crotches of homeless men who douse their crotches with cheap cough syrup in a vain attempt to kill pubic lice.
FRONTAL ANUS—Who let the hogs out—it will smell as if your penis is an anus that has recently evacuated its bowels—strong defecation doo-doo smell. Circus performers, trampoline artists, or anyone who stands on their head for hours as part of their job, and who suffers from Loose Bowel Syndrome, will often find that the unwanted shit has migrated into their penile area, forming solid cakes which are not easily removed. These cakes emit a telltale crap smell that can smell similar to feces, if not removed.