It sounds like you are not clear on what is wanted specifically. Being frustrated is fun and all, but you need to get clear on exactly, in concrete term, your husband wants. Then you can both negotiate toward a solution that may not be perfect, but is better.
As for what you think is happening in men’s lives, be aware that we don’t tell colleagues our problems and so you may have a rosy impression rather than an understanding of the real situation.
There’s more to say about society and stuff, but I don’t think any of that actually helps you outside of the fact that it is not reasonable to ask your husband and kids to be totally cool with you liking your job more than them.